Taking the High Road in Your Divorce

Going through a divorce is bound to elicit strong emotions — after all, you may be rehashing painful memories from your marriage and dealing with difficult issues such as child custody. It can be easy to let your spouse get the best of you emotionally, especially when he or she is acting in a spiteful, juvenile or contrary way. By keeping your own behavior in check, you can rise above the conflict and refuse to let it affect you. Remember the following tactics as you approach negotiations and other divorce proceedings:

• Avoid bashing your spouse or venting about the details of your case on social media or in a public forum.
• Remain honest with your attorney and with the court, and resist embellishing the facts in order to bolster your case, even if your spouse does it.
• Never use your child as a tool to get what you want from your spouse — do not limit communication or visitation if he or she is being stubborn on a particular issue. If your spouse is withholding support payments, there are other legal tools you and your lawyer can use.
• Focus on your parental duties as you look toward the future when it comes to interacting with your ex-spouse. While you may have no desire to ever speak with him or her again, it’s best for your kids to see you co-parenting in a healthy and productive way.

Cooperation, honesty and maturity can get you what you want in your New York divorce and in the future. If your spouse remains antagonistic, your attorney can help you develop an effective legal strategy.