Common Advice from Marriage Therapists for Couples Considering Divorce

Many couples who are frustrated with their marriage and are on the verge of divorce decide to give marriage therapy a try. The hope is that they can work out their issues together in a mediated setting and save their relationship. While this does not necessarily work for all couples, it can help rekindle your connection and get past some of the issues that have brought you to the brink of divorce.

The following are some common pieces of advice marriage therapists provide to couples:

  • Conflict presents opportunities: In many cases, conflict can mean there is room for new growth in a relationship. The way a couple responds to these challenges may ultimately improve the strength of the relationship. Having a mediator to help you work through this conflict in a safe setting can help you and your partner get past these particularly challenging conflicts and achieve a new level of trust in each other.
  • Consider why you want to work on the marriage: Perhaps the best way to predict whether or not a relationship will succeed is the desire each party has to make it succeed, regardless of the challenges that pop up. Couples that take the time to work through their issues together are far more likely to have a long-lasting relationship.
  • Saying “me” instead of “we” is okay: When you are working through your emotions together, it’s okay to say “me” instead of “we.” That doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you honest. Instead of saying “we argue a lot,” say “I feel angry/frustrated when you say those sorts of things,” or “I know I contribute to these arguments by always having to have the last word.”
  • If there’s a small part of your marriage worth saving, hold on to it: Sometimes finding even just a small element of a marriage that both spouses truly appreciate can help springboard them into repairing the relationship as a whole.

Working with a marriage therapist may be a good option for you and your spouse if you are facing challenges in your relationship. If you do decide to move ahead with a dissolution of your marriage, speak with an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer at Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.

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