Couples Who Sweat Together, Stay Together: Work Out With Your Partner
In the last 20 years I have noticed trends in divorce cases as well as “red flags” that have led happily married couples to become unhappy, and ultimately move towards divorce. One of these trends, or behaviors, is fitness and exercise routines that are not shared in common between married couples. It stands to logic that married couples whom do not share the same fitness goals or routines often end up in our offices seeking divorce, more often than those that share common fitness goals.
We rarely see couples come into our office for divorce when they are engaging in fitness activities together. Cycling; yoga, spin classes at the local gym; or even attendance at gyms seem to be things that lead one partner to separate from the other partner when they do not do these things together. It is very common for us to see a divorce that occurs when one party begins to enjoy a fitness lifestyle and engages in activities away from their spouse. Inevitably, this is the beginning of the end for many couples.
Spend time together. By engaging in the same activities at gyms; couples stay together. They do not get involved with single people that prey on married people. Hopefully, the couple also grows and comes to enjoy a better sense of fitness and even look better, together.
Fitness can increase someone’s basic happiness when they are feeling better both physically and mentally. In fact, physically fit individuals and their new energy levels can help drive romantic attraction, and seem to be inclined physiologically to engage in sexual activities.
There is also the sharing of a mutual goal, which increases emotional bonds between the partners. As a divorce practitioner for over 25 years I cannot tell you how many divorces have started as a result of one partner looking and feeling better about themselves, and separating from the other partner. The separation can begin first by just 3-4 classes in a gym; which leads to a new group of friends; a new lifestyle; and ends with the more transformed person wishing to shed everything about their past lifestyle. This is including their spouse who does not fit their new idea of what they want for themselves and their life.
In my profession I often look at my own relationship and the relationship of those around me. What I say above is almost universally true. Therefore, with respect to my own relationship I have contacted a local personal training provider that comes to the home. Two to four times a week, Gymguys.com comes to our home, brings equipment, sets up, and gives us a “couples” session, focusing on our individual needs together with a common goal that we share as a couple. For example, the common goal would be health, increased fitness, and maintaining a low weight while the individual needs would be reshaping certain parts of our individual bodies.
The use of a home trainer keeps us together; in the home; and not individually engaging in forming friendships with people as individuals. We have gone through numerous trainers within a few years and we maintain friendships with all. Our friendships with them are as a “couple”, and the training has proven to me as a divorce lawyer, that it is good for couples to train together.
Couples who train together, sweat together, stay together. Couples who pursue individual goals may find themselves a new social circle; and separating physically, mentally, and emotionally from their spouses.
I think as a divorce lawyer handling many cases (19,000 or more) over the last few years it is important for me to comment not only on divorce and divorce issues, but what I see in relationships and what causes relationships to end in divorce. I will be writing articles and blogs on providing advice on how to stay married and stay away from divorce. If doctors can write about how to keep their patients healthy, why can’t a divorce lawyer also advise on how to avoid divorce?
Bryan L. Salamone, Esq. offers free consultations on a selective basis at his office located in Melville, New York and has commented on network news; New York newspapers. For a free consultation contact Mr. Salamone at 1.631.479.3839 or contact us online.