How Couples Can Argue Without Ending Up Divorced

Every marriage has its rough points, and all couples have disagreements least occasionally. It is how couples work their way through those arguments that determine the long-term health and viability of a relationship. Ultimately, spouses who frequently argue in unhealthy ways tend to get divorced at higher rates.

How can couples argue without it leading to the end of their marriages? Below are a few tips from divorce mediators and attorneys:

• Do not begin aggressively: The way the conversation begins will have a big influence on how it ends. Even if you are quite angry, it’s important to resist the urge to rant. Instead, start the conversation more softly. Focus on being calm and respectful in your tone.
• Do not approach it as an argument: Fights happen between married couples. Instead of thinking of them as arguments, think of them as healthy conversations between two people who are mature enough to solve problems together. If the two of you take on the issue as teammates rather than adversaries, you’ll more quickly come to a positive resolution.
• Validate your spouse’s emotions: Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings and express your understanding for why he or she feels that way. In some cases, this validation is all your spouse needs.
• Do not try to solve all problems immediately: Forget the old phrase, “never go to bed angry.” Sometimes, you just need to table the conversation until you are both more alert and have had time to collect your thoughts. It’s also important to know which arguments are worth having. There are some issues that will probably be present throughout your relationship, and you’ll need to accept them and move on if you’re to have success.

While these tips can help many couples, others may have no choice than to seek the dissolution of their marriages. For further guidance on this issue, consult a skilled Long Island divorce attorney with Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.