How to Tactfully Talk to Your Kids About Your Divorce

Perhaps the most difficult part about beginning the divorce process is breaking the news to your children. At some point, however, it must be done, and it is important to do so tactfully and gently.

Here are a few tips to help you properly break the news of your divorce to your children.

• Make sure you’re certain: You should not tell your kids until you and your spouse have made the final decision that your marriage is irretrievably broken and you will proceed with the divorce. There should not be any room for them to believe you will get back together—you must be certain that this is the route you will be taking.
• Tell all the kids together: All of the children should be gathered together in one room to hear the news at the same time. This avoids potential confusion—you can ensure the kids all hear the same words coming directly from you. Both parents should be together as well—delivering a unified message will help avoid children siding with one parent over the other.
• Avoid blame: Do not attempt to blame your spouse for the breakup. Don’t feel like you have to give any of the details of why you’re getting divorced. This can be difficult, considering your emotions will still be fresh, but it is much better for the children to avoid the burden of knowing too much. In the long run, they will need to have a strong relationship with both of their parents.
• Keep an eye on your kids: After you’ve had the conversation, make sure you keep a close eye on your kids and watch their behavior. Address any unusual behavior as soon as you notice it. You are likely to see mood changes, attention seeking behavior, aggression or regression with potty training or sleep.

For more tips for telling your kids about your divorce, contact a trusted divorce lawyer at Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.