Parents Occasionally Misinterpret Why Children Complain About Visitation

A common concern that comes up during child custody disputes is that one parent claims a child tends to “beg” not to go with the other parent during the appointed visitation times. Typically, the parent interprets this behavior to mean the child dislikes the other parent or that the other parent is incompetent or abusive.

However, there are a many possible reasons why children might be fussy about going from one parent to the other — and the reasons are often more complicated than one might believe. Common issues include the following:

•  The child wants to spend time with the other parent, but also does not want to leave you behind. It is common for children to strongly want two things at once and become emotional when they cannot have them both simultaneously.
•  The child might pick up on cues from you that you become sad when he or she leaves. Thus, the child becomes upset due to feeling he or she is disappointing you.
•  Your children think it pleases you to see they are sad about leaving, so they decide to tell you what they think you want to hear.
•  The child finds it uncomfortable or inconvenient to jump from one home to another, but will likely be fine with the transition soon after it occurs.
•  The child is indeed resisting spending time with the other parent, perhaps for the reasons you suspect. However, this is quite rare.

To get the guidance and advice you need when dealing with child custody and visitation issues, consult an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer with Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.