What is Stonewalling in a Marriage or Divorce?

It can be incredibly frustrating when someone refuses to engage with us as we try to communicate with them. In a marriage or divorce, this type of stonewalling can be intolerable or even dangerous.

There are ups and downs in any relationship. Not every situation where a husband or wife doesn’t want to talk can be considered stonewalling. However, if your partner persistently shuts down when you seek to discuss important issues with them, it might be time to consider ending your marriage. If you’ve already started the divorce process, you should consider whether mediation can open up the lines of communication so that you can avoid the time and expense of a trial.

There are various types of behavior that signal a spouse is stonewalling in a manner that makes productive communication difficult or impossible, such as:

• Responding to questions or concerns with the silent treatment
• Leaving the room when a husband or wife seeks to start a conversation
• Using nonverbal cues, such as eye-rolling or turning away, to dismiss what a partner is saying
• Repeatedly delaying discussions of important topics
• Accusing a spouse of misbehavior instead of responding to them

Getting stonewalled is more than just annoying. A study showed that individuals whose partners refused to communicate were more likely to suffer physical effects such as back pain, headaches and high blood pressure. Moreover, a husband or wife might not be willing to share important personal or financial information with a nonresponsive spouse. This is particularly worrisome when married or divorced parents are not discussing key matters relating to their children.

Stonewalling is often linked to other types of negative behaviors that destroy marriages, including physical abuse, financial misconduct and gaslighting. If you’re being victimized by a partner who refuses to engage with you on any meaningful level, you should consider making a change rather than just hoping that things will get better on their own. You deserve someone who will respect you, listen to your concerns and communicate in a healthy manner.

Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C. is the leader among Long Island divorce law firms. We represent many clients who have been the victims of stonewalling and other forms of emotional abuse. If your marriage has become a source of pain and frustration, we can outline your legal options. You can set up a free consultation by calling 1.631.479.3839 or contacting us online.