What Your Children Need to Know About Your Divorce

While you do not need to keep your kids updated on every little detail of your divorce, it is important that you communicate with them about what your divorce means, and about some specific topics that will be of interest and importance to them.

The following are a few examples of the things your children do need to know about your divorce.

• Your divorce is permanent: You should not leave the door open for you and your spouse getting back together at all, otherwise your kids will cling to that. Be as upfront as you can with them about the permanence of your divorce, and that it’s something you will all get through together.
• Your children are not at fault: It’s natural for kids to feel guilt or shameful about their parents’ divorce, but you should do everything you can to stress to your kids that they are not at fault at all, and that there’s nothing they could have done to prevent it from happening.
• They are allowed to love both of you equally: From the moment you tell your children about your divorce, you should make sure to avoid portraying each other as “the bad guy.” In fact, make sure your kids know you will both continue to love them, and that it is okay for them to continue to love you equally.
• Certain practical details as appropriate: Some details, including living arrangements, frequency of visitations and transportation may be appropriate to share, depending on the age of the children. However, you should absolutely avoid discussing the reasons you’re getting divorced, frustrations you have with the other parent or anything at all about a new partner you already have.

For further guidance on this and other issues related to your divorce, speak with a knowledgeable Long Island family law attorney at Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.