During a divorce, parents of minor children should always concentrate on the needs of their sons and daughters as they look to resolve their legal issues. Even when both parties have the best intentions however, it can be easy to overlook young people’s perspective during the negotiation process. Now, some divorcing couples are using a new method of mediation to ensure that their children’s voices are heard.
The process known as child-inclusive mediation (CIM) is a targeted intervention in which a trained child consultant meets with sons and daughters separately to understand their feelings about their parents’ breakup. After taking time with the child, the consultant then shares insights with the parents in a constructive way, helping them make informed decisions that prioritize the child’s well-being.
Making children part of the divorce mediation process can lead to better outcomes for everyone involved. The child consultant converses with young people in an empathetic matter, focusing on the youth’s needs rather than asking them to pick a side or decide where they want to live. As in a collaborative divorce, CIM is meant to guide parents away from conflict and toward cooperative resolutions.
When children know that they’re being heard, they should have a better chance to avoid some of the negative effects of a parental divorce, such as anxiety, depression and behavioral issues. Consultants emphasize that discussions are confidential and that their objective is to relay to parents what the children want them to know. Of course, no process works perfectly in every situation. Certainly some children are too young to provide meaningful feedback. There are also instances where, despite the best efforts of the consultant, a young person might not feel comfortable talking about their needs and feelings to someone outside the family.
In many divorce and separation cases, mediation provides couples with the guidance and perspective necessary to reach consensus on parenting and financial matters while avoiding the time, cost and stress associated with litigation. Though not yet in widespread use here in the United States, CIM might enhance the effectiveness of mediation.
Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C. represents parents throughout Nassau and Suffolk counties in child custody matters and all types of divorce proceedings. Please call 631-388-6009 or contact us online to talk about your options with a knowledgeable New York family lawyer.