Under any circumstances, creating a parenting plan to address issues of legal and physical custody can be a complicated process. There is often sharp disagreement between parents as to what is the best interests of their son or daughter. When a child is on the autism spectrum, disagreements might even become more difficult to resolve. Children with autism often rely heavily on routine and predictability, and too many transitions or unexpected changes can cause significant stress.
Autism spectrum disorders affect children in vastly different ways, so you and your co-parent should always focus on what best meets the specific needs of your son or daughter. Still, there are some general guidelines that experts on neurodivergence suggest will lead to a more positive custody arrangement, such as:
- Minimize transition difficulties — Sometimes, parents who live close together alternate custody every night or every other night. This arrangement can be overwhelming for children with autism as it disrupts their sense of stability. On the other hand, longer stretches in each home might increase the tension associated with transitions. A more autism-friendly approach may involve fewer overnight transitions and more structured routines. Inserting scheduled dinner visits for the non-custodial parent during longer stretches in the custodial home can help maintain continuity in the parent-child relationship without introducing the upheaval of an overnight stay.
- Create visual schedules — Children on the spectrum often respond well to visual cues and clear expectations. To help your child adapt to a custody arrangement, consider posting a large, easy-to-read calendar in both homes. Use colors or symbols to indicate which parent the child will be with on each day, and include regularly scheduled activities such as therapy sessions, extracurricular activities and family events.
- Communicate openly — Let your child know in advance what the weekly schedule looks like. Talk about it together, walk them through any changes and remind them gently on the day of a custody switch. Anticipate when adjustments might need to be made so that you and your ex can make sure that your child is prepared, and that you’re both sending the same message.
If you’re navigating a custody arrangement involving a child with special needs, it’s wise to consult with a family law attorney experienced in complex custody cases. As the Long Island divorce leader, Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C. has worked with numerous parents to create custody arrangements that create a positive environment for children on the autism spectrum. Call us today at 631-388-6009 or contact us online to discuss your particular issue.