Parents who live apart due to separation or divorce frequently have to deal with complex issues. However, even simple situations can cause problems if proper care is not taken beforehand. When a child goes from one parent’s care to the other’s in accordance with a court-ordered visitation schedule, the exchange should be short and non-eventful. Unfortunately, this is often not the case.
Custody handoffs can also be flashpoints for conflict, arguments and, in the worst cases, violence. Recently in North Carolina, a dispute during a custody exchange led to gunfire, and the death of a father who was apparently upset about vacation plans involving his son. Though no solution is foolproof, especially in high-emotion conflicts among parents, there are ways to minimize the likelihood of problems when a child switches homes.
When parents negotiate child custody arrangements, they should include detailed exchange procedures that might address one or more of the following issues:
- Limited communication — Parents might disagree on various issues, but arguing in front of their child during the custody exchange is not good for anyone. Agree that handoff conversations remain short and focused completely on the transfer. Create a framework for resolving conflicts when your son or daughter is not around.
- Safe location — If there is a concern about home drop-offs, use a neutral, well-lit public location or a designated safe exchange site. Depending on the relationship between you and your co-parent, you might include an adult you both trust to be present.
- Transportation and notice arrangements — Tensions often rise when someone does not know what to expect. Set forth exact times, who will transport the child, what the child will bring and how notice should be given if you cannot stay on schedule on given date.
- Potential modifications — Document any instance where your co-parent deviates from the exchange rules without your consent. Preserve texts, emails, photos and witness information if a problem arises. Do not hesitate to contact the police if you feel threatened. A failure to abide by the procedure could warrant a modification to your child custody order.
Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C. helps parents obtain appropriate child custody terms, pursue modifications for safety and obtain supervised-visitation arrangements when required. To discuss your particular needs with an accomplished Long Island family lawyer, please call 631-388-6009 or contact us online.