Divorcing a Narcissist and Getting Child Custody

If you don’t have minor children, a divorce will let you walk away from a spouse with a narcissistic personality once the financial details are worked out. However, a parent in the process of divorcing a narcissist should take active steps to protect their son or daughter. Someone’s personality problem not only affects the well-being of children in their home but also might make them less likely to accept a reasonable parenting time arrangement. Should you know or suspect that the narcissism of your soon-to-be ex will complicate your child custody matter, it’s best to be ready and get the help you need to deal with this challenge.

Someone who is afflicted with a narcissistic personality disorder is prone to get angry without reasonable provocation and has a difficult time understanding the perspective of others. These are never positive qualities, especially when a marriage is ending and children are involved. There are, however, effective ways to handle custody conflicts with a narcissistic individual, such as:

• Focus on the result — Narcissists might not be able to focus on anything besides themselves, but you can. Whenever possible, ignore the outbursts and instances when your spouse refuses to acknowledge reality. Your goal is to develop the best possible custody and visitation plan based on your children’s specific circumstances and needs.
• Keep the kids out of your disputes — During a contentious breakup with a narcissist, it can be tempting to vent about how tough things are. There are many appropriate ways to do this, but you shouldn’t denigrate your spouse in front of your children, even if you’ve heard that your spouse is doing so.
• Hire a lawyer familiar with these situations — There’s no substitute for experience. A seasoned child custody lawyer will know how to guide you through the rough spots while advocating for a child custody arrangement that gives your son or daughter the safety and comfort they deserve. With skillful representation, you might be able to secure appropriate custody terms while maintaining a suitable co-parenting relationship.

Located in Melville, Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C. , represents clients in divorce proceedings throughout Long Island. Our insightful approach and track record of success will give you the support and confidence you need to handle child custody matters with a narcissistic husband or wife. For a free initial consultation where you can learn about your legal options, please call 1.631.479.3839 or contact us online.