Bringing Up Mediation With Your Spouse

Bringing Up Mediation With Your Spouse

Mediation can be mutually beneficial for you and your spouse as you go through the divorce process. It can keep you out of court, expedite the process and save you a significant amount of money.

Of course, you’ll need to bring it up as a possibility first, which can be easier said than done when speaking to each other probably isn’t the most comfortable thing at the moment. Here are some tips.

Speaking versus writing

If you’re still able to communicate well face to face or over the phone, then that’s the best option for discussing a collaborative divorce via mediation. However, if you find it to be a negative, unhelpful experience when you attempt to actually have a conversation with each other, you could propose the idea in writing. It’s best to do via email rather than text so that you can get out everything you want to say in one message and keep it planned out and professional.

Know how to broach the issue

No matter what medium you use to raise the issue, it’s important you know exactly what to say and how to say it to make it sound neutral and beneficial to you both. Emphasize that mediation will save time and money, and give you both some control over the results of your divorce. You might consider drafting a letter to your spouse with the help of an attorney before you send it via email.

In addition, if you have any brochures or printed materials that explain the mediation process, consider sharing these with your spouse to give them a third-party source of trustworthy information so they can get more comfortable with the idea of mediation. You might even be able to propose a specific mediator, depending on your circumstances and your comfort level with your spouse.

No matter what, this is a conversation you must keep neutral and unthreatening, and you must give your spouse some agency. The way you raise the prospect of mediation will lay the groundwork for how you can expect that mediation process to go.

For more information, contact an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer at Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.

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