How Does Remarriage Affect Adult Children?

Many people expect there to be some growing pains when getting remarried with minor children in the picture. However, many of these same transitional and emotional issues can also be a factor if you or your spouse have any adult children.

While adult children are going to be better able to emotionally process the transition, they are still human and still could very well have complicated feelings about the marriage. You should be prepared to notice and address any of the following issues:

• Strong loyalty to their “original” family: Your adult children will want to maintain a strong family identity. This means it can be difficult to immediately accept a new stepparent and everything that comes with it, including uprooting long-established family traditions, celebrations and holidays.
• Feelings of homesickness: While your adult children no longer live at home with you, there is still something that might be lost to them in the transition, beyond your relationship. To them, going home might no longer feel like they’re actually at home, and that can be difficult to process at first. They will miss the feelings of the home they knew as children, with both of their parents living in it together.
• Difficulty managing time with grandchildren: You might find that your children harbor some feelings of resentment that their children, your grandchildren, will suddenly have to welcome a new face into their life, or that time has to be split even more broadly among grandparents.
• Jealousy: Even adult children are susceptible to feeling jealous, or as though they’ve been “replaced” by a new spouse. Suddenly a new stepparent comes in and has captured your heart and energy — it’s natural for them to feel jealous.

These are all issues that can be worked through, but it’s important to be aware and understanding of them. For tips about how you can address these issues with your children, speak with a trusted Long Island family law attorney at Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.