FATHERS STRAY LESS THAN MOTHERS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEIR “DAY”
The largest spike in marital infidelity occurs the day immediately after Mother’s Day. This day is now being called “red light Monday” or “Mother’s Stray Day”.
Monday, May 12th, 2014, the day immediately following Mothers Day this year, a shocking number of wives signed up with AshleyMadison.com; a dating website established for married individuals seeking affairs. According to psychologists and a spokesman for AshleyMadison.com, Mother’s Day has become a day of “neglect” for many women whose expectations are not being met. This is a day where they are given the attention of their children, but lack the attention of their husbands. In fact, this day is increasingly known to reinforce or ratify a mother’s dissatisfaction in her role in the marriage.
According to the New York Post, dating websites such as AshleyMadison.com focused on “clandestine or surreptitious affairs while married” increase applications by females up to sixty-five percent the day after Mother’s Day (see New York Post Dads, beware of Mother’s “Stray” by Andrea Peyser dated Monday May 12, 2014 (http://nypost.com/2014/05/12/husbands-beware-of-wives-post-mothers-day-stray/). In fact, websites focusing on “no strings attached connections with married users” are now the second most popular dating sites. Adultery is increasing exponentially throughout the world, including countries that consider it a crime punishable by death. What is interesting is that adultery by husbands has not increased in the last decade while adultery by wives has reported to exponentially go up.
Although precise statistical data is often difficult to obtain concerning infidelity, many studies have consistently shown that as women have gained increased equality in the workforce they have reportedly increased infidelity, while men have remained the same. According to a study by ABC News (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/women-cheating-men-study/story?id=13885519 ) 19% of women have reported to have cheated, reflecting a substantial closing of the cheating gender gap.
Bryan L. Salamone & Associates receives dozens if not hundreds of calls immediately after Mother’s Day by mothers feeling neglected, underappreciated or whose expectations have simply not been met. Mr. Salamone reports that in contrast, the day after Father’s Day he does not field nearly as many calls from fathers who receive the same tie or the same bottle of Old Spice as they do every year. Mr. Salamone further goes on to note that the largest spike of calls for Father’s Day is instead in connection with switching weekends or altering visitation schedules.
Interestingly, many of the mothers “stray” cases, Mr. Salamone reports, involve children over the age of fifteen. “It appears that mothers are more hesitant to stray when they are more active in their children’s lives, and may be otherwise neglected when their children grow as teenagers and become more independent.”
Mr. Salamone further added that regardless if someone strays in the marriage it is not a consequence since October 2010 in connection with New York State Divorce DRL § 170(7) No-Fault provision. However, when a partner strays it could have a dramatic consequence with respect to custody. Any time spent involved in a romantic relationship outside of the home is, usually, time away from the children. Children of teenage years may also find out about affairs or may be inappropriately introduced to romantic partners complicating matters.
Mr. Salamone suggests rather than straying, complicating matters and causing hurt feelings with spouses and children, people should instead address their happiness and their marriages. In the event that a marriage is unhappy, unhealthy or unfulfilling and cannot be saved through the regular means of counseling, hard work and intimacy, mediation and or divorce could lead to the happy ending that the marriage has not provided. Mr. Salamone has handled over fifteen thousand divorces and is the principal of Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C. Bryan L. Salamone & Associates, P.C is a Melville based divorce and family law firm that focuses on litigation and mediation and offers free consultations on selected matters /faqs/.