Tips to Help You Begin Your Divorce Process in a Civil Way

When people think of divorce, what often comes to mind are contentious, drawn-out court hearings filled with anger and insults. However, this is not usually the case. The divorce process can be remarkably civil if both sides commit themselves to being calm and amicable.

Below are a few tips to help make your divorce as civil as possible:

• Communicate: At some point, you may need to tell your spouse you’ve been having doubts about your relationship and have decided you want a divorce. There’s no way to “ghost” from a marriage. If you want to take away some of the shock, you can reach the point of using the “d” word gradually. Find several times to discuss your unhappiness with your spouse before you ultimately tell him or her you want to end your marriage.
• Go to therapy if your spouse wants it: Your spouse may tell you he or she wishes to pursue couples therapy. If this is the case, put in a legitimate effort (unless domestic violence or abuse is involved). Even if therapy does not save your marriage, it can help you reach some important decisions as to how you will tell your children, family members and friends about your split.
• Deescalate arguments: If you have decided you will move forward with a divorce, it does neither side any good to argue about things that have happened in the past. Nothing good can come of those arguments, so shut them down as soon as they seem like they’re about to begin. This can help you keep things amicable during the divorce process.
• Tell your children together: Sit down as a couple and tell your children about your decision. Reassure them it is not at all their fault. Do not blame each other — focus instead on the ways you will keep life as consistent as possible for your kids moving forward.
• Never badmouth your former spouse: It is unfair to your former partner and to your children for you to badmouth your former spouse. Your kids need to maintain a good relationship with both parents, so you should never purposefully say or do anything that paints the other parent in a bad light.

To learn more about your legal options for getting divorced in New York, contact a skilled Long Island family law attorney with Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.