Tips for Sharing Birthdays, Holidays in a Joint Custody Situation

If you are a parent in a shared custody arrangement after a divorce, birthdays and holidays can be especially difficult times. You may need to accept that your long-time rituals can no longer occur as they once did. However, there are still ways you can make these times of the year special and meaningful.

Below are some helpful tips:

• Have a plan: Communicate with your former partner and plan far in advance how you will share time for all the holidays in a year. It is common, for example, for spouses to trade off years in which they spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with their children. If you have large extended families with multiple holiday gatherings, you may be able to split time with each holiday in each year.
• Stick to the plan: Always follow through with your plan and the promises you make to your children and/or your former spouse. Hard feelings can arise whenever you break your word, especially as it relates to the holidays, which have a lot of sentiment surrounding them.
• Let kids have a say in the plan: Although your children should not have the final say in how your holiday plans will work, you can at least ask for their input as to when and where you will celebrate the holidays and who will be present. This will help teach your children about collaboration and compromise.
• Have multiple celebrations: For a birthday, for example, it can be easy to have two different celebrations — one at your home and one at the other parent’s home. This makes it easier for extended families to get involved.

For further guidance on these and other issues related to the divorce process, meet with a skilled Long Island family law attorney at Bryan L. Salamone & Associates.